After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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