Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
