I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
