I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
