Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
