i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I could make wine with my vomit
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He passed out mid-signature
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
