I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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