Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
