i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
