so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
