shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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