You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I love having hate sex.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
