Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
