I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
