did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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