I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
