Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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