two words: eviction party
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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