I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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