you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
