also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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