Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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