I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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