The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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