We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
