What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
