Non-Jews are for practice
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
