I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
