I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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