he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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