Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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