Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
