i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
