drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
