Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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