yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
