marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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