this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
