I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
