a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Two words: nipple clamps
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