end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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