Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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