all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
