You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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