If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
