I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
