wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the condom got lost in my hair
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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