they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
