so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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