A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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