he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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