I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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