he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish you could order shots online.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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