Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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