we have officially lost it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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