Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
