I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I forget how to act sober
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
